Three Reasons the Holy Spirit Prays for Us

Tautges posts on prayer (6)

by Paul Tautges /

The last of three posts on the role of the Trinity in prayer. The first two are here and here.

In the process of prayer, the Holy Spirit plays a role both unique and unexpected. Romans 8:26-27 puts it like this.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Just as creation groans waiting for the fullness of redemption, and just as believers groan waiting for redemption from their earthly bodies (Romans 8:22-23), so the Holy Spirit groans in prayer! Three truths concerning the Spirit’s ministry of prayer for us are here to be uncovered.

The Spirit Prays for Us Because We Are Weak

The Spirit who resides within “helps” us. He comes to our aid, rescues us, makes our prayers acceptable to God the Father, and helps shoulder our heavy burden. This is the ongoing ministry of the Spirit in our “weakness,” our human frailties.

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The Son Understands Our Weaknesses

Tautges posts on prayer (4)by Paul Tautges /

The second of three posts on the role of the Trinity in prayer. The first is here.

Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man, is the one whose perfect life and sin-atoning death serves as the only possible bridge between sinful man and a holy God. Accordingly, all our prayers must go “through” him, the believer’s High Priest.

As Our High Priest, Jesus Stands Between Us and the Father

Now that Jesus has ascended back to the Father, his ministry to us continues. The door to God that the Son opened for us through his death, he now keeps open in his role as our High Priest.

Making a sacrificial offering. In ancient Israel the holy place was the exclusive, innermost room of the Temple in Jerusalem. It was open only to the high priest, only once per year, and only on the condition that he enter with the blood of an acceptable offering. As the ultimate High Priest, Jesus would later enter the true holy place in heaven, just once, to offer himself as the sinless sacrifice for his people (Hebrews 9:24-26; 10:1-14). By bringing his own blood to the throne of God, Jesus satisfied God’s holy standard and bore away God’s wrath against our sin (Romans 3:25). He achieved all of this “through his flesh,” that is, by his humanity, the “curtain” torn apart to gain our access to God (Matthew 27:51).

Interceding. In addition to offering sacrifice while in the holy place, the high priest of ancient Israel would also pray for the people, interceding on their behalf before God. Again, this was ultimately a foreshadowing of Jesus. As our “great priest over the house of God,” Jesus Christ is the eternal, living intercessor for God’s household, the church, and is uniquely qualified for this role as the only one who has lived both in flesh as man and in heaven as God. This leads us to the next essential concept.

As the God-Man, Jesus Understands Human Frailty

Just as the high priest in the Temple of ancient Israel could relate to and thus represent his people before God while in the physical holy of holies, our High Priest in the heavens took on flesh and lived on earth in that body for more than 30 years. Therefore, he can relate fully to our struggles.

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:14-16).

In interceding as High Priest on our behalf before the Father, Jesus therefore serves as our Mediator—one who stands in between God and man. He is the only one who can serve in this role.[tweet “Do we ponder enough the connection between the humanity of Jesus and the privilege of prayer?”]

In Jesus, every Christian possesses the acceptable Mediator who has already satisfied the holy wrath of God against our sin. As a result, we may boldly come to the Father “in Jesus’ name”—that is, through the blood and complete worthiness of Jesus. But Jesus our great High Priest did more than complete a task for us; as our mediator he also understands us.

Brass Heavens; Reasons for Unanswered Prayer, by Paul Tautges“In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence” (Hebrews 5:7). Are you not struck by the phrase “with loud cries and tears?” I am. The image of Jesus weeping should stamp upon our minds the reality of his humanity. When he cried out to the Father in anguish in the garden called Gethsemane—his raw emotions wrestling against the fact of his impending death—his bloody sweat was mingled with many tears. This helps us realize just how human Jesus was (and still is). Our theology rightly teaches us that Jesus is both 100% God and 100% man, but do we ponder enough the connection between the humanity of Jesus and the privilege of prayer?

It was in “the days of His flesh” that Jesus prayed. As the virgin-born Son of God, Jesus walked the same human road we walk (with the exception of the guilt of sin). As part of his humanity, the pattern he established at the beginning of his public ministry to rise early in the morning and go to a desolate place to pray continued until the night before his death (Mark 1:35; Matthew 26:36).[tweet “From personal experience Jesus knows exactly how hard life can be in these bodies.”]

Through the disciplined lifestyle of prayer, Jesus admitted the weakness of his—and thus our—humanity. As Henry Thiessen puts it, “If the Son of God needed to pray, how much more do we need to wait upon God.”[1] By calling us to pray, and by opening the door into this fellowship by means of the shed blood of his Son, God reminds us of our human weakness and invites us to ongoing fellowship in his presence.

From personal experience Jesus knows exactly how hard life can be in these bodies, having experienced every kind of temptation we will ever face. Our Savior is both sympathetic and empathetic. This is why we can confidently draw near to him in our time of need. His throne is truly a “throne of grace,” dispensing mercy and help to us whenever we call upon God through him.

* * *

In the third and final post in this series, we will consider three reasons the Holy Spirit prays for us.

This series has been adapted from Chapter One of Brass Heavens: Reasons for Unanswered Prayer, by Paul Tautges.
[1] Henry C. Thiessen, Lectures in Systematic Theology (Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1949), 228.

TautgesPaul Tautges serves as senior pastor of Cornerstone Community Church in suburban Cleveland, Ohio. Previously, he pastored Immanuel Bible Church in Sheboygan, Wisconsin for 22 years. Paul is a husband, father, and the author of eight books. He also blogs regularly on discipleship and the Christian life at www.counselingoneanother.com.

 

The Father Delights to Listen

by Paul Tautges /

The first of three posts on the role of the Trinity in prayer.

The first person of the Trinity—the one who freely chose to send his only Son to die for our sins—is aware of our needs, listens to our cries, and delights to give us what is good for us.

The Father Knows Our Needs

While teaching his disciples about prayer, Jesus made this amazing statement: “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:8).

Your Father. The first thing to notice here is that Jesus does not call the first person of the Trinity “the Father of heaven and earth,” though that surely is true. Instead he stresses the relational aspect, saying “your Father.”

The believer in Christ has a relationship with God that the unbeliever does not. God is the Father of all in the sense that he is the Creator “from whom are all things” (1 Corinthians 8:6), but he is Father, relationally, only to believers. This relationship, which is based on grace alone through faith in Christ alone, deepens and thrives when we take our needs to the Father in prayer.

Before you ask. The second part of Jesus’ comment—that our Father “knows what you need before you ask him”—can easily raise an honest question: If God already knows our needs and the always-faithful Father has promised to meet them, why bother to pray? It may seem like an obvious question, perhaps with an obvious answer, but what happens next in the gospel account is striking.

Notice what Jesus didn’t do after telling us about the Father’s foreknowledge: he didn’t just stop talking! If he had, we might conclude prayer is unnecessary—God knows what you need; end of story. But Jesus refused to leave us to our own flawed, finite human logic. Instead, going against our logic, our Lord said essentially the opposite: “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this: ‘Our Father in heaven…’”

Your loving Father knows what you need before you ask him, therefore… ask him? Jesus wants us to see that prayer is more about changing us than it is about informing God or moving him to action.

As a sacrifice of time and energy that could have been used for other things, prayer is an act of worship, one by which our hearts are exercised in faith, not merely in religious ritual. “Ask,” Jesus tells us, “just ask.” Why? Because true prayer cultivates humility. It requires us to acknowledge our helplessness. We ask because Jesus told us to ask. We ask because all that is good comes from God, not from our own efforts.[tweet “Prayer is far more about changing us than it is about informing God or moving him to action.”]

As we build a lifestyle of prayer, this regular acknowledgment of God’s fatherly provision is infinitely more valuable than anything else we may receive. The main thing is not that in the future we might get what we pray for. The main thing is that in the present, as we pray, our greatest need is already being met. That need is the transforming work of God in our hearts, with prayer itself as one of God’s appointed means of meeting that need. When Jesus promised a “reward” for those who pray in secret (Matthew 6:6), perhaps this refining work of God in our hearts is at least partly what he had in mind.

The Father Delights to Give Gifts

Brass Heavens; Reasons for Unanswered Prayer, by Paul TautgesHaving taken joy in hearing the cries of our needy hearts and knowing our needs better than we do, God delights to give us those things that will be best for us. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). Written by James, the half-brother of Jesus, this verse portrays God in a way that should powerfully motivate us to pray.

Good and perfect gifts. God is the source of all that is good, and he delights in giving good things to his children. Jesus says in Luke 11:13, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” If we as human beings find joy in giving our children what we believe to be good gifts, how much more does an infinitely good God know how to give to his children!

Sometimes we think God withholds things from us because he does not love us. The opposite is true. Sometimes God’s withholding of our requests proves his love. He did exactly this for the apostle Paul to keep his pride in check (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). God loves us too much to let us go down a harmful path, even if we see it as the path of blessing.[tweet “God’s not answering prayer often proves his love: Paul’s thorn in the flesh checked his pride.”]

Father of lights. All of these undeserved gifts come down from the “Father of lights,” the creator of the sun, moon, and stars (Genesis 1:14). These heavenly bodies testify to God’s glory in part by offering a visual representation of God’s “light”—his holiness and purity (1 John 1:5). Men, however, are not light—we naturally love darkness because we love sin (John 3:19). But it is impossible for God to be involved in darkness in any way whatsoever. There is “no variation or shadow due to change” in God for he is pure light—unchanging and unchangeable. Unlike the sun, moon, and stars, the light of God’s holiness never surges or fades. It always burns with the same infinite intensity. Therefore it is impossible for God to tempt us toward evil. If we ask him for a fish, he will not give us a serpent (Luke 11:11).

* * *

Of course, the Father is not the only member of the three-in-one God. The perfect work of the sinless Son of God opened the door to the grace-saturated throne of our prayer-answering Father. The next post in this series will address the role of the Son in prayer.

This series has been adapted from Chapter One of Brass Heavens: Reasons for Unanswered Prayer, by Paul Tautges.

TautgesPaul Tautges serves as senior pastor of Cornerstone Community Church in suburban Cleveland, Ohio. Previously, he pastored Immanuel Bible Church in Sheboygan, Wisconsin for 22 years. Paul is a husband, father, and the author of eight books. He also blogs regularly on discipleship and the Christian life at www.counselingoneanother.com.

Eight Quotes about Luther from ‘A World Upside Down’

8 quotes about lutherby Kevin/

“Luther found peace with God through being justified by faith alone. Yet in finding peace, he discovered he was at war with the world. The irony—that the sweet and pure good news from heaven would bring such enormous warfare and destruction—was not missed by Luther. In his later years, he would reflect on how the world has ever been at war with the gospel, going back even to Paradise and the murder of Abel by Cain. He perceived this rage against the promise of grace continuing on through history, up to his own time. ‘Yet I am compelled to forget my shame and be quite shameless in view of the horrible profanation and abomination which have always raged in the Church of God, and still rage to-day, against this one solid rock which we call the doctrine of justification.’”1 (Page 35)

“Luther [recognized] that the law and gospel are two entirely distinct categories: law is not gospel, gospel is not law. The beauty and power of each vanish when they are blended together. The perfection and majesty of the law is compromised, and the announcement of the good news that Christ kept the law for us and suffered the curse of the law for us is entirely lost. Blending the two leads one into suffocating moralism, anguished guilt, or a lofty legalism that destroys everything and everyone in its wake.” (Page 47)

“Luther grasped the fact that sinners were declared righteous by God apart from any of their works, whereas the [Roman] Church in Luther’s day taught that sinners were made righteous in actual conduct as they cooperated with God’s grace. This actual righteousness, the Church taught, was the means by which a person was justified before God. Luther understood the subtle yet damning error in this teaching, for while it acknowledged God’s grace as helping the sinner to obey, it placed salvation back into the efforts of man and removed the objective peace of God that rested entirely in Christ alone.” (Page 51)

Three Problems with Free Will

“Salvation by works. Luther understood free will as being at the very heart of the gospel. He realized that if man’s will is truly free, then man is capable of keeping God’s law perfectly and thus earning a right standing with God.
Remember that Luther had tried himself to behave perfectly before God, and failed. Every monk he had ever known had failed. Every Jew in the Old Testament— indeed, every person in the Bible, except Jesus, had failed. To Luther, Scripture itself explained why free will was a false notion, and therefore why every person other than Jesus has always failed and will always fail to behave in a way that God finds acceptable.

“In other words, Luther realized that if man’s will is free, he can save himself through works, without any help from the perfect life and sacrificial death of Christ on the cross.

“Salvation by decision. Luther also recognized a second, separate, fundamental problem: if man has free will he can choose to believe. This means that a person with free will can—indeed, he must—contribute to his own salvation. Such a choice thus becomes a necessary element of every Christian’s salvation. A person’s eternal destiny thus comes to rest in his or her own decision, rather than in the sovereign decree of the Triune God.

“Shared glory. Finally, Luther noted that if one held to the doctrine of free will, glory does not go to God alone. It is shared with man who has chosen God.

“For all these reasons, Luther thought the concept of free will established man as judge and arbiter over God. He keenly observed that Erasmus’s thoughts started with man and not with God. Therefore, in writing to Erasmus he stated, ‘Your thoughts of God are too human.’”2 (Page 61)[tweet “Luther: if man’s will is free, he can save himself through works, without Christ.”]

“Luther’s definition of the words repentance and faith reveal a third integral aspect of his understanding of the gospel. He stood against the Roman Catholic Church’s definition of these words that undercut the free gospel of grace. Incorrect definitions of these terms would ruin the entire gospel message. In our day, as well, the gospel is often lost because we have vague definitions of these terms—definitions that insert works and human effort back into the gospel. Therefore it is crucial to be clear on what repentance and faith actually mean.” (Page 55)

A World Upside Down, Four Essays on the Life and Theology of Martin Luther, by Charles Fry“The promise of the gospel—specifically, being justified by faith alone and not by works—was what Luther considered to be the difference between the true and living God and all other gods, which were merely idols. In his lectures on Psalm 51, Luther noted that all other gods besides the true and living God, no matter their name, are simply one and the same god—a god who masquerades as Jehovah, but is in fact merely a god without mercy, knowing only justice and wrath. He is a god without the promise of grace, a god before whom we could never be justified. To encounter God without his offer of grace is to destroy ourselves.

“Luther’s distinction between god the absolute (the false gods who relate to us by works) and the God of promise was a brilliant observation. All the religions of the world that seek justification through law (no matter what form this law may take) are worshiping a false god. Even those who may belong to a Protestant church but are still seeking to be justified by works are worshiping the ‘absolute god’ (to use Luther’s phrase), who is really no god at all but rather an idol. Only in true Christianity can the living and true God—the God of promise—be found. Only before the God of promise can we stand justified by faith alone. Only by the promise of the gospel can we have goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our life and know the sweetness and joy of God’s abiding love. In other words, only in Jesus Christ is the promise of grace found, given, and enjoyed.” (Page 54)[tweet “Only in true Christianity can the living and true God, the God of promise, be found.”]

“Am I of the Elect?”

“Luther knew that the teaching of the bondage of the will, along with predestination (that before the creation of the universe God had already selected specific individuals to be saved) should be handled pastorally. For those who wondered if they were of the elect (that is, predestined), he warned against trying to answer this question by looking at predestination; if one did this, he would be driven to endless despair and caught in a firestorm of anguish and doubt. Rather, look at Christ and the gospel promise. Hear the good news and believe!

“It’s actually not complicated: if you want Christ and the gospel, you are one of his elect. This is how you will know if you are God’s child. To start instead with predestination would be to try to climb into heaven and see the hidden counsel of God, which will crush a person. One should not build his or her assurance on the hidden counsel of God—that is, by starting with the question, Am I elect? Rather, Luther counseled to begin with Christ and his being freely offered and known by the promise of the gospel. It would be disastrous and absurd to build one’s faith and assurance on the secret counsel of God’s predestination. Rather, build on the foundation: Christ. Here the Lord is freely offered and freely known. Only by starting with Christ the foundation can one move on to knowing that one is predestined.” (Page 63)[tweet “It’s actually not complicated: if you want Christ and the gospel, you are one of his elect.”]

“Each Lord’s Day, Christ, the Bread of Life, is to be freely offered through the preaching of the gospel for the forgiveness of sins. Through the forgiveness of sins the Christian is sanctified: ‘[God] imparts, increases, and strengthens faith through the same Word [the preached Word of the gospel] and the forgiveness of sins.’3  Thus, preaching is not so much a matter of training people for spiritual heroics. Rather, for Luther, preaching offers weak and sinful people what they truly need: Christ. Preaching also includes proclaiming God’s law so that a church may be first humbled and then filled with joy in believing the gospel as a result. Then, as men, women, and children return home with Christ alone in their hearts, they go out rejoicing and advanced in their sanctification.” (Page 90)

These quotes were taken from A World Upside Down: Four Essays on the Life and Theology of Martin Luther, by Charles E. Fry, with a Foreword by Jerry Bridges. Subscribe today and it will be the first book you receive.

1. Martin Luther, Lectures on Galatians (Middleton version [1535], Logos Bible Software), 16.
2. J.I. Packer and O.R. Johnston (eds.), Martin Luther, The Bondage of the Will 1525 (Westwood, NJ: Fleming Revell, 1957), 87.
3. Robert Kolb and Timothy J. Wengert (eds.), The Book of Concord: The Confessions of the Evangelical Lutheran Church,  (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2000), 439.

Kindle Deals Through Sunday

Just like the headline says, through Sunday these eight books are on sale for $1.99 at Amazon in the Kindle version. Of course, you can also get them here in paperback and all three ebook formats.[Tweet “8 Kindle books from @CruciformPress on sale through Sunday, $1.99 each”]

The Most Encouraging Book on Hell Ever, by Thor RamseyTHE MOST ENCOURAGING BOOK ON HELL EVER, by Thor Ramsey

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CRUCIFORM: Living the Cross-Shaped Life, by Jimmy DavisCRUCIFORM: Living the Cross-Shaped Life, by Jimmy Davis

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Reclaiming Adoption; Missional Living Through the Rediscovery of Abba Father, by Dan CruverRECLAIMING ADOPTION: Missional Living Through the Rediscovery of Abba Father, by Dan Cruver, John Piper, Scotty Smith, Richard D. Phillips, Jason Kovacs

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Torn to Heal; God's Good Purpose in Suffering, by Mike Leake

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Anchored in Grace, Fixed Points for Humble Faith, by Jeremy WalkerANCHORED IN GRACE: Fixed Points for Humble Faith, by Jeremy Walker

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Satisfied. Waiting.

Grace satisfies our heart with answers to prayer while we wait for the ultimate answerby Greg Lucas /

One of the longest patterns of recurring intercessory prayer in my life has been directed at a single goal: that my teenage son might be able to speak. If I could heal just one aspect of his condition, if I could give just one gift to address his many ailments, it would be the gift of speech. Most of his frustration, and much of our collective family frustration, comes from Jake’s inability to communicate effectively on a regular basis.

Sometimes we don’t know Jake is sick until he is very sick. We don’t know how badly he is injured until bones show up broken on an X-ray. We don’t know he is sad until he begins to cry uncontrollably. We don’t know he is angry until the remote control, or his eyeglasses, or a soft drink flies across the room and crashes against the wall.

At home, these forms of miscommunication are burdensome and exhausting. Out in public they can be downright dreadful and even dangerous. So, for years, I have prayed that God would give my son a voice.

I long for my son to have peace in his frustrated heart. I also wish for tranquility in my sometimes discouraged household. But one of my greatest yearnings on earth is to have a deep conversation with Jake. This is just one of the things that, for me, will make heaven especially sweet. I have so many things I want to tell him and, more importantly, so many things I want to hear from his heart.

I have waited and waited for God to answer this prayer. At times it seems like heaven is brass to my plea. But the longer I live the more I realize that in God’s merciful ways and grace-filled applications he has sent me many answers, even as I wait for the ultimate answer.

I asked God specifically to give Jake words. God graciously granted five.

Jake’s entire spoken vocabulary consists of “Dah-dah” for Daddy, “Momma” for Mommy, “Maw-maw” for his grandmother, “Dad-dad” for his grandfather, and “Ho-ho-ho” for, you guessed it, Santa Claus. And yes, we hear about Santa Claus all year round, and we encourage and cherish this because it is an answer to my prayer.[tweet “I asked God specifically to give Jake words. God graciously granted five. @greglucas58”]

Beyond those five vocal expressions there are no other words in Jake’s audible vocabulary. But there are some necessary signs. Jake can sign words like Jesus, Bible, shoes, play, please, sorry, candy, drink, and eat.

There is also some very beautiful singing. Jake loves to stand in church with an open hymnal—or anywhere, for that matter—and sing. His singing consists of one long baritone note that he can hold for a surprisingly long time. Over and over and over. It sounds a lot like Gregorian chant.

He also loves to carry a Bible and pretend he is reading, using the same long baritone sound that he sings with. Because he is standing and holding a Bible instead of a hymnal, perhaps he is preaching. God knows what’s going on there, even if I do not.

Then there are the precious ways Jake communicates affection physically. When he is happy and wants to show his love, he hugs. As our 4-year-old daughter would say, “He squeezes the choke out of me.”

For our daughter, being embraced by her much larger brother is more like a headlock than a hug. This can be confusing for a little girl who loves her disabled brother very much, but doesn’t completely understand why discomfort has to come along with his expression of affection. Actually, Jake intends for his hugs to be a sort of headlock, because his goal in wrapping his arms around your neck is to lower your head and finish the hug by placing his mouth directly on your hair in the form of a big, wet kiss. Jake has always had oral-sensitivity-stimulation issues with hair.

Wrestling With an Angel; A Story of Love, Disability and the Lessons of Grace, by Greg LucasSo while Jake’s hugs can be a little messy, somewhat confusing, often very loud, and even a little painful, when you leave our house with a sore neck and a big wet spot on the top of your head, you know you are loved.

Finally, there is God’s gift of electronic communication devices. Jake uses a handheld computer with a picture touch-screen that can communicate all kinds of phrases. When talking on the phone with him you might hear a mechanical voice saying: “I love you,” “I miss you,” “I want to go to Maw-maw’s house,” or “Is it almost time for Santa Claus to come?”

For me, all of this illustrates the difference between an answer to prayer and the answer to prayer.

Our sovereign Lord has the ability to grant anything we ask at any time. He is generous and kind and loving and cares for us beyond our wildest imaginations. We can be assured that when we are genuinely hungry and ask for food, he will give us bread and fish, not stones and snakes. But sometimes, if we ask for steak and shrimp, bread and fish may not seem like the answer we were looking for.[tweet “Grace satisfies our heart with answers to prayer while we wait for the ultimate answer.”]

I think the appetizer is meant to increase our desire for the main course. Such has been the case in my own prayer life. My heavenly Father, in his infinite wisdom, has answered all my prayers for Jake—with glimpses of the greatness to come. He has granted a foretaste of his glory by revealing the shadow of his coming blessings.

We still live in a fallen, sin-stained world. Even the best things here are mere silhouettes of what God has in store for us on that day when sin is no more. But we can be assured of this—he has more in store for us than we could ever think to ask for.

greg-and-jake-2015-blog-crop-for-webThe full answers to our prayers and the full glory of God’s blessings will only come in eternity—and then they will last for eternity. But for now, informed by Scripture, and full of godward faith and biblical hope, our anticipation of what’s to come protects us from trusting in the temporal things by keeping us longing for the eternal things. In this life it is vital and necessary that, to one degree or another, we remain dissatisfied. The tension is that, here, all our prayers are answered, but all our prayers also await ultimate answers.

Today I communicate with my son through a few important words, some necessary signs, a sophisticated electronic device, and some rather charismatic body language. God has given me an answer to my prayer.

But I dream of a day when Jake and I sit quietly and stare into each other’s eyes for a long, precious moment. Broad smiles flash across our faces in silent communication of overwhelming joy. It’s a smile shared only by the close bond and affection of fathers and sons.

Then the silence is broken by Jake’s voice, “Dad, there are so many things I have wanted to tell you.”

“I know, son. I know.”

This is the answer to my prayer. And it will be worth the wait.


Lucas

Greg Lucas is a husband, the father of four, a police officer in West Virginia, and a graduate of Boyce College. This post is adapted from chapter six of  his book, Wrestling with an Angel: A Story of Love, Disability, and the Lessons of Grace. He continues to blog about Jake and other subjects.

20Twosdays: Books on Parenting

Copy of Copy of 20T Revision This week we’re featuring two popular titles on parenting.

Intentional Parenting; Family Discipleship by Design, by Tad ThompsonThompsonIntentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design, by Dr. Tad Thompson, is an unusual parenting book because it focuses on strategy, not tactics and techniques. The book is designed to come alongside all the other books, sermons, teachings, and exhortations you have received on child training and leadership in the home, make sense of it all, and give you concrete ways to build family discipleship into daily life. Endorsed by Kevin Ezell (North American Missions Board), Joel Beeke (Puritan Reformed Theological Reformed Seminary), James Hamilton (Southern Baptist Theological Seminary), and others.

Christ in the Chaos; How the Gospel Changes Motherhood, by Kimm CrandallcrandallChrist in the Chaos: How the Gospel Changes Motherhood is by Kimm Crandall, with a Foreword by Elyse Fitzpatrick. This is a fantastic book for moms—especially mothers of young children. Kimm emphasizes the importance of the gospel and how Christ’s life, death, and resurrection change every aspect of motherhood. From finding your identity in Christ and understanding God’s grace, to taking off the mask of acceptability and dealing with the comparison crud, this book will free moms to serve their family knowing that God’s love does not change based on performance. Endorsed by Lauren Chandler, Gloria Furman, Scotty Smith, Trillia Newbell, Kendra Fletcher, and more.

Plus there’s the $20 store coupon. So go ahead…

Sorry, this drawing is closed. Try again next week!


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What Will I Learn in Do Ask, Do Tell, Let’s Talk?

ASKTELL Blog Title lifecycle2 (6)by Brad Hambrick/

In this second of three posts (the first one is here), I want to introduce you to the kinds of questions addressed in my upcoming book, Do Ask, Do Tell, Let’s Talk. To help make the rest of this post clearer, I’ll start by summarizing chapter one, which among other things gives us the vocabulary we need to speak wisely and accurately about this challenging subject.

Chapter One: “Language, Stigma, and Expectations” What is the difference between experiencing same-sex attraction,  engaging in homosexual behavior, and embracing a gay identity? How do these categories help Christians speak from a conservative sexual ethic without shutting down conversation? What are the words, logic, and ways of speaking that immediately designate us “unsafe” for those who experience same-sex attraction? When two people who have a vested interest in conflicting value systems talk, what are some healthy, realistic expectations for that conversation? How can the church be a safe place for these conversations, so that there is an alternative to “coming out” as gay?

In fact, my greatest hope is that this book will help equip the church to be a place where testimonies like these can become increasingly frequent:

  • An individual who embraces a gay identity could say, “I have friends who are Christians and disagree with my chosen lifestyle but love me well. I believe they would gladly help me if I had a need.”
  • A teenager who is beginning to experience same-sex attraction could say, “I have Christian friends who understand what I’m facing and care enough to help me think through this confusing experience.”
  • Parents of a child who is experimenting with homosexual behaviors could say, “Our small group cared for us well and helped us think through how to love our son. It was surprising how safe we felt to wrestle with the questions we were facing.”
  • An individual who was considering leaving the gay lifestyle could say, “The Christians that I knew while I was openly gay were a big part of the reason I may choose to pursue what I now believe to be God’s design for sexuality.”

If these statements reflect how you think conversations about homosexuality should be happening in the church, I believe you’ll find Do Ask, Do Tell, Let’s Talk to be helpful. Let’s continue now with the chapter summaries.

Chapter Two: “Being Comfortable Being Uncomfortable” Talking about sex is awkward enough. If we believe that Romans 1 is the only road to homosexuality (namely, progressive sexual depravity), then we respond to individuals who experience same-sex attraction as if they were the equivalent of sex addicts and pedophiles. Our ignorance of the same-sex attraction experience heightens the awkwardness of these conversations and increases the likelihood that we will be unintentionally offensive. This chapter examines the common internal obstacles to being a mature, informed participant in conversations with friends or family members who experience same-sex attraction (SSA).[tweet “We must see the moral differences btwn same-sex attraction, gay identity, & homosexual behavior.”]

Chapter Three: “Getting to Know the Experience of SSA” What is it like to realize that your experience of romantic attraction is different from that of most people? What are the common markers in the journey of individuals who experience same-sex attraction, and what emotions accompany those markers? What is it like to “know” that your attractions cannot be talked about “at church” but other people’s can? How would that dynamic influence your experience of Christianity and culture in general? An appreciation for these questions is vital to being a good friend (while not necessarily agreeing with your friend’s conclusions).

Chapter Four: “Getting to Know the Person Experiencing SSA” An appreciation for chapter three does not mean you know the experience of any particular individual. Knowledge about a subject without knowledge of a person is more debate-prep than relationship. This chapter will provide good questions to ask based upon the content of chapter three, and give guidance so that when SSA comes to the forefront of conversation, we don’t reduce an individual to this one characteristic.

Chapter Five: “Winning an Argument vs. Influencing a Friend” A cliché or gotcha line never transformed anyone’s sexuality. They get applause from those who agree with you and disdain from those who don’t. They polarize. What should be our tone and emphasis when discussing biblical passages on homosexuality? How early in a relationship do I need to bring up these passages in order to be a faithful Christian? Is it profitable to discuss things like research biases in genetic findings related to homosexuality? If so, then how, when, and for what purpose? At what point does protecting a friendship for the sake of influence become moral compromise?[tweet “A skill largely absent from the church: How to speak truth in love re: same-sex attraction.”]

Chapter Six: “Navigating Difficult Conversations” Tricky interpersonal issues can arise in this area. Will you come to my wedding? Shouldn’t my parents allow me and my partner to come over for Christmas? Am I not supposed to be hurt by Christians who say things they deem to be true, but say them in attacking and demeaning ways? If I do not experience any, or very limited, opposite-sex attraction, do I have to remain celibate my entire life to be a Christian? These and other subjects are addressed through an annotated dialogue that helps the reader think through what it would be like to have conversations about what they’ve read with someone who experiences same-sex attraction.

In the third and final part of this blog series, we will look specifically at what I believe will make this book unique and therefore valuable.

See all posts related to Brad Hambrick.

Brad Hambrick (M.Div., Th.M.) is Pastor of Counseling, The Summit Church; Adjunct Professor of Biblical Counseling, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary; and a Council Member of The Biblical Counseling Coalition.

Brad Hambrick (M.Div., Th.M.), is Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church, Adjunct Professor of Biblical Counseling at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, and a Council Member for The Biblical Counseling Coalition. He has published numerous titles in P&R’s Gospel for Real Life series.

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Brad Hambrick (M.Div., Th.M.) is Pastor of Counseling, The Summit Church; Adjunct Professor of Biblical Counseling, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary; and a Council Member of The Biblical Counseling Coalition.

On Monday we will run the second of Brad Hambrick’s three posts (the first is here) discussing his upcoming book, Do Ask, Do Tell, Let’s Talk: Why and How Christians Should Have Gay Friends. The book will be released in January. Monday’s post will summarize each of the book’s six chapters and set forth some of Brad’s specific goals for the book.

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ThompsoncrandallOur weekly giveaway will feature, as always, a $20 store coupon, plus two books in paperback or any of three ebook formats. This time the theme is parenting. Be sure to come back on Tuesday and take a few moments to enter to win Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design, by Dr. Tad Thompson, Christ in the Chaos: How the Gospel Changes Motherhood, by Kimm Crandall, and of course the coupon.

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LucasGreg Lucas, author of Wrestling with an Angel: A Story of Love, Disability, and the Lessons of Grace, shares his experience of how grace satisfies our heart with answers to prayer while we wait for the ultimate answer.